Blogs, mental health

The end of an era

It’s Monday morning as I write this particular blog entry. Monday the 2nd of September 2019 to be exact and I’m sat in the modern and mostly peaceful surroundings of Trowbridge Library. Trowbridge itself may have its fair share of failings, but the library here at County Hall certainly isn’t one of them. It’s a real mecca of information. From the thousands and thousands of titles that line the shelves as far as the eye can see – to the banks of computers and work stations available for those looking to catch up on some study without the distractions of the typical home environment. In my case, it’s a place that I’ve frequented many times over the past couple of years whenever I’ve really wanted to get my head down and blog for a while.

Now I’m entering my final week of what has become normality for me before the new adventure of college begins next Tuesday and my emotions are running high. I’m feeling slightly apprehensive of course. I think most people do feel some level of apprehension whenever they’re starting something new. But at the same time, I’m feeling excited to finally have a genuine reason to get out of bed in the morning. After living in mostly isolation for the past couple of years I’m actually looking forward to getting out into the world and meeting new people. Something that 12 months ago I wouldn’t even consider thinking about.

I’m taking things slow of course. I think If I suddenly launched straight back into a 5-day week of surrounding myself with work and people I would most likely have an immediate relapse. I will be spending Tuesday and Wednesday mornings in college for the next year, learning the basic educational skills required and building up the resilience I need to get myself onto the Higher Education Access Course in September 2020. It’s all part of my 5-year plan that looks a little like this.

Year 1: GCSE Maths and English – Part time

Year 2: Access to Higher Education – Full time

Years 3-5: Creative Writing and Publishing Degree – Full time.

Once I’ve got my degree my plan is to then work freelance as a writer. Earning my living through commissioned pieces for print and online publications. Who knows? One day I might even write a book!

I have had articles published before by The Huffington Post and of course I’m very proud of them. But I feel that I am capable of so much more in terms of my writing. I don’t really know very much about article structure for example. Nor do I know anything about pitching articles to potential publishers. But I’m so keen to learn all of that. I want to learn a whole raft of new skills in order to progress my fledgling career and increase my earning potential.

Above all, I want my family to be proud of me for something. Because up until now – in my opinion – I’ve just wasted the life that I’ve been given. I’ve never achieved anything of note and I’ve spent far too many years relying on other people to carry me.

It’s time for a change.

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