My mind isn’t really all there at the moment. I think perhaps it’s a combination of the sheer amount of time that I’ve been away from work, and the frankly astonishing heatwave that has recently descended upon the UK. I mean, it’s hot. Ridiculously hot. So hot in fact that in a similar fashion to our recent bitterly cold winter we just can’t cope as a nation. We’re not used to such relentless hot weather in this country. We’re used to it being almost universally overcast and mild and anything other than that throws us completely off-balance.
So yeah, the heat isn’t exactly helping me. For the past couple of weeks my appetite has deteriorated to the point where I’m living exclusively off of cereal, ice lollies and cider. It’s just too hot to prepare a proper balanced meal and the just the thought of having to do so causes the oh so familiar pattern of sweat beads to appear on my face. It all feels like just too much effort.
It’s the same with my overall thinking as well. I’m just too hot to think about anything that I need to think about. When I try to think about anything remotely significant I just end up thinking about the drawer full of ice lollies in the freezer or a nice cold drink.
I think perhaps I’ve got so used to having no daily routine now that it’s just become the norm. I get up every day whenever I feel like it and just kind of exist. I have no real purpose in life and no real reason for being.
I’m due to return to work in August. Back to the same place that I walked away from all those months ago. The thought of doing so doesn’t exactly fill me with hope and excitement, probably the opposite. The problem is that it’s hard to give a toss about a company that has shown consistently that they don’t really give a toss about me as an individual.
I’m still in two minds whether to actually bother going back there or if I’m better off just cutting my losses and finding something new to get my teeth into.
But I can’t decide right now. I’m just too damn hot!